Because You Can

Rule: When near Grand Central Terminal, stop in at Oyster Bar for martinis and oysters before returning to work.

You're Not on a Reality Show

Rule: Don't use the speakerphone feature on your cellphone while walking on the sidewalk.

You Can't Have Any Either

Rule: Don't comment negatively on someone's choice of food. Especially if they happen to be eating.

Even If It Were True

Rule: If anyone thinks they are a rock star they should be killed. Slowly.

You Have a Job?

Rule: Don't knock on the bathroom door and say, 'I need to shower for work!' while your roommate is still in there, getting ready for work.

I Can Hear You Now

Rule: In an open space office, unless it's a business call, take it outside. No one cares about your trip to Portugal.

It's Not Good

Rule: Always wear a Gordon Gekko dress shirt with a tie. Never wear it open collar with a white ringer t-shirt underneath, with cuff links on, untucked over jeans. Never.

Meow

Rule: No matter what you google, you'll end up with at least one image of a cat.

Broken Finger

Rule: If you owe money, it's your responsibility to pay it back. Not the lender's responsibility to remind you.

You've Been Waived

Rule: If you're not on the team, refrain from referring to that team as 'We'.