Absence of Color

Rule: When you wear a white dress shirt, you will get a stain on it before the day is over. Especially if it's brand new.

Sincerely Your's

Rule: People who don't know the difference between 'there' and 'their' should not be in leadership positions.

Night School

Rule: Just because you took one or two classes at a school, doesn't mean you 'went' there.

Can You Help Yourself?

Rule: If the MTA clerk in the booth doesn't actually answer your first question, don't bother and move on. He's interested in telling you what you supposedly did wrong, like not read the sign that wasn't even there. Also, he won't give you his name if you ask to see his name tag.

Where Will You Stay?

Rule: It's not really a sublet if you sublet your room to someone, but still intend to crash at the apartment's living room some of those days.

It's Killing the Environment

Rule: One drink order at the bar of a restaurant or bar should not come back with a printed receipt that includes the drink's price and tax listed separately, charging you $5.43 for a beer. That's just stupid.

It's Nice to Do

Rule: If someone does you a favor (especially if you asked them to do it), say thank you.

Tour de Douche 2

Rule: Hey, girl with bike getting on the subway car first during morning rush hour: How about you don't take a seat by the door too while you block people trying to get on with your stupid bike you're not riding. Nice helmet, retard.

Tour de Douche

Rule: Don't ride your bike on a sidewalk. Especially on a street with a bike lane.

You Get Paid For It

Rule: Do your job.

Respect My Authoritah!

Rule: If no one else at work knows you're a manager, then you're definitely not a manager.

Public Domain

Rule: If you tell someone something private about yourself in confidence, realize it won't stay private for long.

18+ = -16

Rule: If the age limit for an event states 18+ to get in, it'll probably mean mostly 15 year olds attending said event.

Down the Hatch

Rule: After using the office restroom, double check to make sure you didn't leave a floater.

We're Not Twelve

Rule: When offered a handshake after introduction, don't refuse it because "...I only do high-fives."

What Up Shorty

Rule: If you're a short, stocky dude, Don't wear your jeans cuffed 4 inches.

Or Mussolini

Rule: Avoid using Hitler as a reference point in any context when talking about yourself.

People Will Hate You

Rule: Never set up a meeting for 10AM.

No Murdering Allowed

Rule: When using a shared office bathroom, don't leave streaks of blood on the toilet.

The Wire

Rule: Wire hangers aren't hangers.

Best Orange Juice Ever

Rule: All delis should sell Pineapple Juice.

Alone Time

Rule: A trip to the ATM should be made when you're on your own. Not when you just met up with your friends. Do it before you meet, dummy.