Something He Worked On Between Superman and The Goonies

Rule: It's OK to never have heard of a Richard Donner movie starring Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, and Michelle Pfeiffer where one turns into a wolf at night, and another to a hawk during the day. It's not OK to keep watching the movie at 3AM hoping it gets better. 

The Worst Danny Boyle Movie

Rule: If you have a car at your disposal and are within driving range of a beach, you should always have beach gear (towel, sunblock, etc) in the car no matter what the local weatherman says about the day's weather. 

Fast, Faster, Fastest

Rule: When in Atlantic City, don't break for meals. Or just stop playing poker altogether after eating. 

You've Got Mail, Maybe

Rule: If you write someone a letter, don't drunk text said person the same night: 'I sent something in the mail for you.' It sort of defeats the purpose. 

It's About Math, Really

Rule: A girl who can play volleyball is 15% hotter for it. 

Raise Your Hand If You're Sure

Rule: Try to apply your Old Spice deodorant before you get to the subway, not at the platform. 

It's the Economy, Stupid

Rule: $8 for a Bud is wrong. And probably one of the ways they're ruining the economy. 

Throw Up On Your Feet

Rule: Sketchers are ugly.