Half It

Rule: Use only half of the recommended amount of laundry detergent per load. Everything still comes out clean. 

No, I Have None

Rule: Takeout delivery dude who shows up with no change is a liar.

Off The Grid

Rule: It's OK to misplace your cellphone once in a while. It makes you be on-time. 

GPS

Rule: If the dude has to use GPS on his phone to find his way home in the morning, then the girl should at least show him some boobs. Or something. 

Answer to Everything

Rule: When you can't decide what to eat, get soup. 

It's About the Money, Part 2

Rule: When money is borrowed among friends, the lender shouldn't have to ask the borrower about it past the agreed upon payback date. It's the borrower's responsibility. 

It's About the Money

Rule: When you ordered 5 drinks for you and your friends, it's not OK to tip $4.

For Art

Rule: In a movie, a love scene where the girl keeps her bra on is stupid. It's unrealistic and distracting. She might as well just keep her top on.

Sit to My Left

Rule: Don't ask questions or comment on the movie while it's still playing. In the theater. Just shh. 

Real Smooth

Rule: Never make a lady wait for you on Valentine's Day. Especially by a subway stop where she can see people getting out holding flowers, over and over again, none of the flowers for her. For like an hour.  

Non-pants

Rule: Leggings are not pants. 

This from someone who agrees. 

The Doors

Rule: Always hold the door open for a lady. Car doors are different though. Use judgement, and if the lady's so prissy you're expected to open the door for her to exit the vehicle (when you're in the driver's seat), she sucks.

Getting Up

Rule: When sitting in a crowded subway car, offer your seat to anyone who seems 50 and older, especially if it's a person with a vagina. It's the gentleman thing to do. Many times they say, 'No, thanks' and you get to keep the seat anyway.

A.A.

Rule: Never play poker with a dude named Paco, who's in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Inside Stays Inside

Rule: Never let an outsider in on an inside joke while inside joke is in progress (with insider) simply because an outsider overhears part of the joke.

*I failed this one recently in a panic and feel like I betrayed said insider.

Musical Chair

Rule: When getting seated at a restaurant, the girl always gets the booth/wall seat and the guy takes the chair. Unless the girl makes it known she wants the chair.

Incoming Call

Rule: If you're at a café, bar, or restaurant, and your phone rings, take it outside. No one cares that you're an actor and you might be interested in taking a part for a role that requires a southern accent.

Home Game

Rule: First time to a poker game at someone's home, refrain from acting like you know everyone, shut up, and keep the game moving.

Pants and Shoes

Rule: Brown shoes for non-black pants, including gray pants. Black shoes for black pants. Never brown shoes with black pants or black shoes with brown pants.